The red button adventure

You had plenty of time to think when cleaning. Mostly that is no problem, but one time it turned out to become one.

It was when Master told me he would be off for some time. We were on earth and he left for reasons he certainly did not tell me.

So alone I cleaned and thought and one though grew BIG in my mind.

When he introduced me to my work, he showed me the control desk, which had to be absolutely clean and shining.

All those buttons and controls and Godknowswhat….always very difficult to clean, I can tell.

“And do not MOVE anything, you understand? No pushing, no twisting, only clean it And one more!” His eyes get a dangerous sparkling and his voice became very harsh.

“See that huge, RED button!” I looked and nodded. “Sure!” “Good, that button is not to be touched or cleaned. Let it be. Understood?” “Yes, Master, I will never ever touch THAT red button thing!”

And there I was now, cleaning, wiping, thinking, thinking about THAT damned red button.

Master away and I alone with this button.

One day, two days, three days went on, I sad there eating my ham and cheese sandwich and my mind was stuck to the red button like a limpet.

A glow seems to be around the red button and a voice was whispering in my head.

What great difference it could make if I give the button just a little push, like the push of a butterfly wing.

I mean, the voice told me, what could happen?! Nothing, certainly and Master never, ever will know and my mind will be calm again.

We all know what comes from such thinking.

My hand reached out and gave the red button a slight touch….I hold my breath…nothing happened. I smiled and felt lucky and satisfied, well until I heard the sound.

It came from deep within the Tardis, a grumble, a roar, nothing one wanted to hear in the distance and even worse it came nearer.

I gulped and looked around me. Sure I could leave the Tardis but then I would not be able to enter it again and then Master returning would find out, what I have done.

Okay, he would possibly anyway but I decided that it was better to face THAT grumble then the Master.

I took my broom and prepared myself.

It came into the control room and stared at me. After all I believe it did so, I was not able to say if that were eyes or something other. Anyway, one thing was clear as water without galaxy cleaner, IT WAS MAD AT ME!

So I decided what every intelligent being would have decided to do, or as the famous Ludwig von Drake once said: “My escape plan consists on the stimulating impact from psychical depression to the musculature of the whole organism. Popular said, fear imparts wings!”

I RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN………….

Good thing as a cleaner you knows your rooms (at least the first 100)…so I know how to make a round. And even better I had always some nice gaveyougreatpower snacks from planet Varos with me, I opened it, running and at THAT moment I heard the thing giving a strange sound.

It reminded me to the sound, the dogs made, (I once was doghousecleaner!) when I get them something nice and bony to come out and let me do the cleaning.

At that moment an idea came into my mind and I decided to find the room, from where It might had come. I got a plan of the rooms around the control room in my mind and I know that there was this one room Master told me NEVEREVER to open.

Good little Tardiscleaner that I am I thought about Bluebeards room and neverever opened it. But that damned thing must have opened it, if I were lucky, to say the least.

Either THAT or soon the grumbling would turn into the sound of crunching bones and flesh, MINE!

With the power of the snack and the wings of fear I reached the room, I searched, looked like a dungeon, with needed deeply cleaning but this was not the right time for such business.

I ripped another snack wide open, showed it to the thing and threw it into the room.

I was lucky.

Thing went after nice snack, thought most certainly that it could have the fleshy one after that.

Wrong thought!

I closed the door. I leant against the wall, trying to catch my breath and may heart.

Inside it was finished and angry. It beat against the door, but was not able to open it.

Lucky me.

That thought went AWOL (absentwithoutleave) after I gave the rooms a look, across it had passed.

Great Scott, what a mess….sigh, I shrugged my shoulders and began to clean, hoping that Master would not return before I had cleaned up the huddle.

Some days later I heard the door of the Tardis opening and Master stepped inside.

He seemed to be in good mood, what can mean everything, I can tell you.

“And?” He gazed at me. I smiled. “Everything is fine and clean.”

“Hm”, he went to the controls and started the Tardis.

“Let`s go up and away. Had some business to made, things to deal with.”

“Fine with me!” (As if he would bother.)

See….that happens if Tardiscleaner not obey to Master!

Lesson learned! (until next time…giggle)

 

How Tardiscleaner met Master

I think it`s about time, to tell the story how Master and little me met!

It was in Vienna, Austria, I was working at the Belvedere. That is a very fine palace overlooking the city, build for one famous commander under the reign of Maria Theresia. That were times, weren`t they, when you command an army and got a huge palace and a very huge park as a thankyou!

Anyway my duty was to clean the alley of sphinxes, which runs down the park. Each one of the ladies had a different face! It is said that the maker used Austrian belles. I think it`s true, because all ladies had round faces and walking through the town one can see many women with this same Vienna beautiful charm.

I was just cleaning a paw of one of the ladies, brushing away the green moss with a toothbrush. After all a lady had to have clean nails and paws, especial if she is living in such a nice place.

I was deep in cleaning as I suddenly heard a little cough. I looked up, to see a man standing right before me. I didn`t hear him come, although the walking ground is made from pebbles. He must have come as silent as a cat.

He wore a dress coat and looked at me with a very extraordinary smile, some I never, ever had seen before. It was a mixture of the smile of a shark and the smile of the Cheshire cat.

“Yes?” I stopped cleaning and stood up, toothbrush in hand.

He stroked through his white blond hair with his hand. “I am observing you for some while now. Seems you love what you are doing. Making pedicure to the ladies!”

I scratched my head. “Well, as it seems, yes, indeed!” “Nice, nice”, he laughed.

“Someone had to do it” I declared with pride. “And I am the best to do it!”

“So you are a cleaner?” I nodded. “Yes, Sir, that`s what I like to do. As child I used to clean the roofing tiles at my grandparents house with such a brush, I am using now!”

He raised his hand and touched his chin. He was the strangest  man I had ever seen in my life, there was a very whimsical charisma around him.

“Do you like to travel?” I twitched my shoulders. “Sometimes, yes, I go the way the wind blows me like a bursting bubble.” “Hope you don`t burst like one, it would be nasty!” He grinned again.

“Good Sir”, I put my hand around the shoulder of the sphinx. “Take a look, there a lots of this ladies, who are eagerly awaiting my cleaning arts!” “Well”, he gave me a strange look and said with a somber voice: “You will obey me!” I crossed my arms. “I think not.”

He jerked. “You WILL OBEYE ME!” I raised the toothbrush and pointed it at him. “Try to hypnotize this brush, good sir!” His eyes turned dark for a moment. Then he began to laugh hearty. “That`s is very unusual, I must say. My name is not in vain the Master!”

“The Master? What a clever name. Sounds good!” He bowed. “Thanks, I chose it because I like one day to rule the whole of universe.” “Woa”, I looked at him round-eyed. “That is a very big thing to do!” “Bigger then you know”, he admitted.

“Well, I think it is useless to ask you, how you will do that!” He flicked his fingers.

“Do you like to come with me, travel with me across the universe?” “Hm”, I looked at him. “I think, yes! But what use you would have for a cleaner, I don`t think my humble skills would help you with your desire.” “I need a cleaner for my travelling ship, my Tardis!”

“Tardis? Sounds nice, okay, I think I come with you!”

“Anything you need to get before we leave?” I shook my head. “Nothing, I always travelling light!”

 

 

Master`s Tardis

As always I forgot something, so to mention, that a Tardis looks a lot smaller on the outside as in the inside. There are soooo many rooms, I tell you, that`s the point, cleaning never stops.(I recommend the wonderful galaxy shimmer, found on many planets, makes cleaning easy!) (and satisfied Master!) (god, isn`t it?!)
This time the Tardis lookes like a big black statue of the Sachmetgodess, as I told before.
Sachmet is the eye of the sungod Re. She lookes like a woman with the head of a lioness.
One day the great god went mad about mankind and decided to destroy mankind.
He send out Sachmet to do it. As she had a nice day of doing it, she rested in the evening and then Re realised that without mankind there would be no more woreship to him and the other gods.
Bad, bad (think Master could understand THAT very clear!)
So he made up a plan. He emitted messengers to gather lots of red raddle. Then he let filled lots of jugs (7000! can you believe?) with beer and the raddle. So the beer looked like blood.
And when Sachmet awake in the morning, she was thirsty and drank the "blood".
She was so drunk, that she wasn`t able to look after the rest of the humans and Re was able to call her back. End of story!
As the Master saw the statue of the godess in Vienna in the museum for history of art and knowing the story, he let the Tardis change into it.(He doesn`t like humans much, because the Doctor Who loves them).

Begin the begin

20. april, earthtime 2012...

Hi there, my name is the Tardiscleaner and my job is to clean the Tardis. TARDIS? Many may know the famous Tardis with the great Doctor Who is travelling across the universe. That`s not "my" (hm) Tardis.
I am the cleaner of the Master`s Tardis!
(For those not knowing: Tardis means  Time And Relative Dimension(s) In Spaceand it can take any form it likes (only the Doctors is stuck in a old englisch (earth country) police box, the Master got a new one, which by now got the shape of the old egyptian great godess  Sachmet. About her and why Master choose her, later!

And I have now decided to put some time into writing about traveling, cleaning and the Master (hope he never find out, in THAT case things can turn nasty...)