Some egg-citing adventure! (part 3)

We went to the house where Master had to met the egg-collector. 

I was not surprised to look at a giant egg. “Got not a door, neither a doorbell. How will we get in?” 

Master laughed. “Easy, you will see!” 

He put his hand on the egg-house, a crack appeared and turned into a door, big enough for us to enter. Master hissed at me. “Remember, Tardiscleaner, you are my servant, so behave like one!” 

I shook my shoulder. “But Master, I always behave!” 

He rolled his eyes. “Depends on the meaning of behaviour, mind me!” “Okay, I will be best servant as best Tardiscleaner!” “Come one”, he grumbled.

Inside the egg, we stepped into something like a great hall, light came from many cabinets, filled with...eggs or things that must be eggs but looked like other things. Small ways lead to other rooms, probably all filled with eggs and eggs and eggs. Must be some egghead. 

“Welcome, welcome, great Timelord Master.” 

I felt my heard nearly jump from my throat, good thing I don’t dropped the box. I didn’t want to imagine what would had happened if the egg would play egg ball on the floor. 

Behind us a some of that tiny, gleaming metal bean things was flying in the air. Inside it sat one of the collectors. His eyes were brown, his nose had a little red point on it, as if he loved red whine to much. 

He spread both hands in a gesture of welcoming. Master bowed a little. 

“I came to bring you what you want. Servant give it to me!” His voice got that old OBEYE ME sound. Humph. I got my mouth closed and gave him the box, with the dignity of the servant of Lewis XIV, the Earth-French Sun King. 

The collector stared at the box. “Oh my” His eyes get even bigger. “Is it really what I want?! Oh my, oh my, I am so excited. Come one, I had to put it on a special plate to look at it.” He gave me a quick look. 

“Your, hem, servant can wait here. But he had to touch nothing, you understand”, his voice get a little shrill, “absolutely nothing. My collection is priceless and very sensible to the slightest touch, that is not mine.” Master coughed slightly. “ You can take my word, my servant is a good trained one. He will absolute comply with my orders, meaning, he will touch nothing!” 

The egg collector gazed at me, but being no egg, I didn’t get his full attention. Mind me, was okay with me. 

I saluted to Master and smiled. “So we can go and see the wonderful egg, come, come, Master Timelord, great Master”, the egg collector rubbed his hands. 

They disappeared but before that Master turned his head and send my his “melt an ice cube”-sight.

Away they were and time began to drop down like honey, but not so sweet, but boring. 

I felt so lost without my broom to twist around, my duster and feather duster to hunt dust mice, my mop filled with the wonderful smelling galaxy cleaner. And my thoughts went home to Tardis and little dodo Dickens. Hope the cats would play with him until I am back. So sorry about his/her brother sister, but after all could I rescued the little one. 

All those eggs, must come from over the universe. But if you ask me, boring to collect only one thing. 

I like to collect many things, cleaning things, Christ mess ornaments, unicorns, greeting cards from around the universe. Master said my room is like a white elephant stable. 

Goodness, what is keeping Master. That collector must had to begun showing him his collection. 

Boring. 

Hem, no one told me not to move and keep a little look outside the house. 

Just a look at the street, maybe someone is standing there, waiting to have a nice little chat with little Tardiscleaner!

Next moment I was trough the crack that was supposed to be the door and on the street.

Ah, the fresh air, wonderful and around me the beautiful clean houses and the nice clean street, not one piece of paper or something else. 

I looked to the sky as suddenly someone’s voice came into my ears. I turned around to the one, who just said a nice “hello” to me. It was another one of the collectors race. 

Inside the bean shaped thing sat a nice chap. He/she had very huge eyes and they were in a melting violet colour. It waved his hand aside, I waved back. “Hello too!” I said. 

“You must be with that Timelord the egg collector was excited to see. He told us, he would bring him a wonderful thing for his collection.” The little one smiled. I nodded. 

“Oh yes, a egg from terra, you know, that planet from a fare distance galaxy. “Oh yes, terra, now that you say the name I remember. “ His hand tipped at his nose. “And you are from?” 

“Well, I am from terra too.” “You come from an egg?” I laughed. “No, well, in a way, but not such eggs as...oh forgot it. We breed in a special way.” “Oh”, his eyes widened again. “You must be an very interesting race, that a Timelord took you with you?!” I blushed a little. 

“I am not sure about that, after all I am travelling with him as a cleaner of his craft!” “His craft, I understood. We are not able to fly, I mean to get up into space. But we get many visitors that bring us nice peaces for our collection.” 

“Do you announce things in some galaxy search lists?” He laughed a tiny laugh. “Something like that. Say, want to have a look at my house. You would love it. It is not fare from here. You must know, I collect cleaning things.”   

My eyes went huge. “You collect cleaning things?” His mound went round. 

“Yes and from all over the universe, for example I got a very special device that those Judoons use to clean up the cells, absolute rare to get your fingers on, I can tell you.” 

I thought so too. Those rhino like looking things with their stubborn minds, little bit like a Dalek, had a planet like one whole safety cell. Must be something to catch a cleaner thing for their cells, mind you. I felt my mouth watering and not only literary. But the voice of reason whispered in my mind. I sighted. 

 “Oh, I can’t’. My Master, you know, he will soon come back and then he would be angry if I am not waiting here!” Another voice whispered that after all he doesn’t said, that I had to stay inside the house. 

“But is no problem”, he tipped at something inside his bean travelling thing and a small cube appeared., as if it had stuck inside. “See, I tell my little helper here that he tells your Master the place where I live. He can come and all will be nice an easy!” 

Seemed a nice idea to me. Such a nice guy. Nice guy, may be, too nice, said the first voice again. 

Hem. I remembered that fairy dragon disaster. They were so nice too and in the end my bump was nearly burning and I had to listen to Masters “didn’t I told you!” for hours but those Judoons cleaner things... 

Only a little glimpse could really do no harm. But in case there was something wrong…

I pointed at a house in the distance. “I was wondering…could you tell, what kind of collector lives in that nice house over there?” He turned in his bean thing around. Quickly I grabbed in my backpack and took a small spray gun filled with my faithful companion, the galaxy cleaner. Always be ready if one had to clean a spot, you know my motto! “Cleaning never, ever stops!” 

It is a very small spray gun, small enough to put it into my hand. As he turned back to me, my hand was filled. “Oh that, no one important, I tell you. Collecting  words, not impressive.” 

My mouth dropped. "Words! How can one collect WORDS!" He/she rolled it`s eyes. 

"Ah, boring, I tell you, cleaning things are so much nicer, I can tell!" Okay, then let’s go.” 

As I followed him, each time we crossed a corner I gave the next house a little splash, and a small spot of the cleaner keeps stuck. Dried it would look like a tiny blue spot.

After a while we reached his house. It looked like a huge Swiss cottage, with flowers in rainbow colours in the flowerboxes. We entered it and all was nice. I saw pictures at the walls, all were showing creatures from all over the universe. Some I knew, most I didn’t. 

Strange, didn’t he told me that he was collecting cleaning things? What is the point of collecting such and having then such pictures on your wall. If I understood one thing about that collectors, that they are strictly stuck to their collecting thing. 

A nasty thing appeared in my mind and I turned around, just was about to ask a question as I felt something strange. To say at least. I was unable to open my mouth. Not only that, worse, I was unable to move a finger. Great, some kind of force field. 

Certainly, that fairy dragon thing, never trust too sweet looking creatures and never don’t do what Master told you. But he didn’t said, don’t go out. Damned!

I heard the bad guy goggling. “Welcome my new collection thing. I was always hoping to get a human being for my collection. “ He looked at me and smiled. 

Nice smiling, bad words. Damned second time. 

He rubbed his two tiny hand together, being in a very good mode. 

Me, little Tardiscleaner as part of some butterfly-collection? HOTDAMNED!

“See, I will put you in a nice box, with a picture of your blue planet. Bye the way” he scratched his chin. “What I never ever will understand why you are living on the surface, having mostly of your planet filled with water. May be there are other creatures down there. Nice to have some of them too. May be I find a trustful service, after all. But for now, I am really, really pleased!”

“That will change in a minute!” 

Oh, the relief to hear my Masters voice! 

He was standing with the other collector in the open door. 

In his eyes were a distance light, you know, those light like a burning fire deep inside. 

The other collectors face was sad and angry. “Xttmbll, you disappoint me, you disappoint us. We all had an agreement, not ever to harm visitors, especial not that one, who came to make business with us. What will happen someone finds out. Collecting will be going down!” 

My catcher grumbled. “Oh shut up, no harm is done. After all that he is only servant. Who mind about a servant.” 

“I do”, Master said with his cold voice. He raised his screwdriver and….puff…

On the way back to Tardis Master did not say one word to me,

I thought it would be better to shut up my mouth too.

In Tardis I decided the best thing was feet cats and dodo, who went nearly crazy about me, sweet little Dickens. Then I put on the cattle and brew a strong tea. 

Just when I had my cup filled, Master came into the kitchen. He took a seat, I jumped up and brought him his favourite china-bone teacup.I filled it with tea and sat down. 

“Sometimes you drive me crazy.” His voice was calm but not filled with ice crystals.

Thanks the gods of the universe.

“I am sorry, but I was, well, a little bored, just stepped a little step outside and, and..” 

He nodded. “Only one little step, yes, yes, good that you made that signs. Otherwise you might have ended in a box.” “I know, Master, I am sorry, please don’t be mad at me.” 

I stirred in my cup, Dickens gave a sound, wanting a cookie, I gave him one. He loves cookies, all dodos do, like me, and Master!

“Anyway, thought I would miss you and your “shimmering company”. 

I looked at Master and he smiled liked the Cheshire cat. 

My heard filled with joy. After all, seemed he likes me a little.

“I think we should call it a party and I will throw my last package of pink wafers on the table.” 

Said and done.

Master glimpsed at the cookies. He laughed. “Your precious pink wafers?” 

“Yup, for you, my favourite Master, who saved me from becoming a butterfly on a pin.” 

“Your favourite Master, hem, after all there is only but one Master going to rule this universe some day.” 

I raised my cup of tea. “I drink to that.” 

Certainly little dodo Dickens got his share of the pink wafers too. Could not resist a shy picking at my leg from a tiny bird.

But Master never told me what he got in return for the egg.

I am sure something for his great Master plan to become ruler of whole universe some day!  

Some egg-citing adventure! (part 2)

I saw one egg moving, then a crack runs trough it. “Look Master”, I cried. “One had made it.” 

He stepped back. “Get away from it, don’t you know birds are mostly used to follow the first being they see.” “But why?” I could not stop looking at the egg.

The crackle, the little beak coming out, then the head, the huge eyes, a big crack, a little cry and it was free and it looked at me and I looked back. I swore we liked it other instantly. 

“Great Dickens”, the Master yelled angry. “Can’t you never ever hear, what I tell and simply OBEY ME!” “Dickens, that’s it” I smiled. “Hi Dickens!” 

The little feathery thing gave out a thin yelling and walked onto me and tipped his small beak at my shoe. 

I took him up. “You are not wanting to take that with you?!” Masters voice was harsh. 

“Oh, I will, I am his mum now, don’t you see!” He looked up to the sky. “As if I did not see that coming. Tardis turning into the ark. Just absolute great.” “Leave him, leave me”, I can be stubborn if necessary, you must know!

Master sighed. “So it be. But I swear, if he shits only one time on the control desk, I remind myself that I am a very nasty guy!” “Won`t be happen!” 

Dickens father was nowhere to be seen, so I had no trouble. May be it`s not in his interest to look after his children.

Back in the Tardis I introduced little Dickens to the cats. 

I used the old trick, gave the two their favourite feed and the dodo a huge bowl of porridge with raisins. Certainly I made a quick meal for Master too! 

Now things were fine. Master had his precious egg, I had a new pet. 

I heard him grumbling something while eating, Master I mean, neither cats or Dickens. They were all lucky having their dinner. Master too but I think that sort of making friends thing doesn’t work for him. 

Anyway I felt a little sad watching little Dickens eating and looking at me, eating again, looking at me and I gave some cluck, cluck sound that seems to delight him.

Well at least, one dodo was saved from distinction. Maybe some day we could find a nice mate for it, but that thought better would be kept in my mind. 

I was sure Master would not love the idea of having a family of happy birds walking around him.

After Master made the egg ready for the delivery, he set the directions to that planet of collectors. 

A whole planet with beings that collect things. Great Scott. 

I wonder, who will make sure that the collections are always fine and clean, mind you, to clean cabinets is a very difficult thing. They had to be without any nasty stripes, I learned that working in some museum. But I am a quick learner, no one ever made any complaints!

When cats and dodo were filled up, I put them all together in a nest of pillows, under Dickens I put a big towel. After all, he was still a baby and had still to learn to put his, ahem, things at the right place, the cat toilet. 

I was not happy to leave him alone but he seems to see the cats as his siblings, so fur and feather will stuck together! But Master insisted that I came with him. To carry the box. 

He told me, that the people on that planet are used to have servants, who carry their things and one without a servant would be looked at as a kind of dirty peasant. Master always looks after his personal appearance! 

So okay, I obeyed!

We stepped out and what I saw was a little city. 

The sky was yellow and the sun was green but the houses looked like some big English cottages, others like Chinese temples, Greek temples, Sontarian huts, and many others. 

White streets gleaming under the sun run between the houses, in the distance I saw huge mountains with snow. 

“You know what,  it`s like Switzerland, well, it`s so clean and the mountains with that bright snow.” 

Master looked at me. ”Bye the way, why are you carrying your backpack?” 

“I always took it with me, you now that. Might be helpful. You never know, after all!” 

Master rolled his eyes. “Some day you shall get a new one.” 

“No!, I shook my head. “I love my old backpack, I know it looks as it had made its way through a thousand battles but I will not get a new one.” “Sometimes I really don’t understand you, Tardiscleaner. “ He sighted. “Anyway, lets go. The coordinates heshe gave me …” 

“Heshe?” “These people are both genders together.” “That is very practical, no need to have query love affairs with broken hearts and tears and all.” “Indeed. Now let’s go”. 

“Oh, one little thing”, I looked to the ground. “With the feeding and all I had not the time to get something in my tummy. And I forget to put some cookies back in the backpack. All feed to the dodos.” 

Master mumbled something. “Well, I think it can wait until we are back in Tardis.” 

I looked him straight in the eyes. “I am sorry but I really am hungry and that makes me mean.” 

I stood still and crossed my arm. “Are we having a little rebellion here?” the Master gave my his ANGRY glance but I was hungry and ignored it. He leave me behind, who would clean his Tardis anyway?! 

Humph?! He sighted. “Good, let’s found a place to get you something. But don’t expect cookies!” 

My eyes went round. “Why not Cookies? I have found cookies on many planets. Tell you something, I am sometimes thinking about starting a cooking company, well, certainly only when I am too old to be a Tardiscleaner any more.” 

“Heaven help us”, Master raised his hands. I cocked my head. “Hey, you can rule the universe and I gave out the cookies!” He grumbled: “Let’s find something to eat, so your mouth is filled.” 

“If we only could ask someone”, I looked around. “Such nice clean houses and streets but no one around.” “May be that’s the reason, they are clean.” Master grabbed inside the pocket of his tuxedo and looked at a little tablet computer. “Let’s see.” He typed at it and then pointed out. “That way”. 

Okay, that way, hope it would end with something like dinner. And indeed, at the end of a small road we saw a huge house, flat as a pancake, with one big window, on his rove words in rainbow colours running round. Swell, let’s say, there were symbols but I read it, as gift of following a Timelord, one can read and understand every language in the whole universe. Its very practical. 

Anyway its said: “Best meals in town, nice and easy.” Easy? Whatever. 

“Lets get a chair”, I cried and started running. 

As I came nearer I saw through the windows at a giant room, a dozen or more metal balls in the shape of beans where hanging in the air. Coming nearer I saw that they were filled with beings. 

They all were humanoid beings with large faces and huge heads, big eyes, very big eyes and small noses and mouths. They had plates flying in the air before them, filled with very little, funny shaped and funny coloured things, which they grasp with small, very long fingers. But the fingers had big knobs at the end. 

The eating things stuck onto the knobs and were put to the mouth. 

They looked funny, reminded me to fairy dragons, we once meet. Cute things, I thought until they began to get nasty and I reached Tardis only in time before things got ugly. 

But nice or naughty, time to get something to eat. 

I entered the room, at the end of it was a huge desk, and behind the desk stood the ugliest thing I ever saw in my whole life and travelling times with the Master. Even uglier than the thing from the red button adventure and that meant a lot.

It was huge and looked like a mixture between a jellyfish and a octopus and it got so many little green eyes spread over his yellow glowing body, that it made me nervous. 

Like a bus full of tourist staring at you. 

Tentacles were moving around, some arranging food on that plates, others stuck in the hundreds of holes in the wall behind it. 

“Its not gentlemen like to run.“ Masters voice was in my ears “ He stood beside me. 

“Some time I had to teach you some manners.” “I will remind you. But first I am still hungry.” 

“Then let’s get to the head chef over there and order something.” 

"The chef?" He meant that thing. Hoped that the dinner would not be like the cook. 

Bravely I stepped forward, the thing worked along. 

Suddenly I heard a voice in my heads asking me very politely what I like to have? The voice was so nice and  warm that I could not believe it. 

“Well, I like to have”, I looked at the things on the plates and pointed on some. “Nice choice, my friend”, the voice said. “We love to see alien visitors and hope you and your companion will be satisfied. If not don’t hesitate to say so.” 

Tentacles filled two tablets, one for Master, one for me. I put my hand out to take them but the voice told me that they will follow me. “Well”, I pointed at the empty floor. “Seats would be nice!” 

“At your command”, the voice said and two chairs appeared from the floor. They looked cosy. 

I laughed. “Say, that’s great. Thanks!” “You are welcome, relax and enjoy!” “I will!”

We took seat, I put the box on the floor and the tablets followed us and stood still in the air before us. 

“Hem, let’s se, what did we have here”, I looked at the tablet filled with many funny shaped and coloured things. I took one, looked like a blue banana und took a bite. 

I was first struck by a rough sharp taste then a sweet taste followed and mixed up to something, well very good. “Hey, great taste” I looked at Master. “I am so glad you are satisfied.” His voice was cold but with a light undertone. Amusement.

After all, he can be nice, you know. So I started some conservation.

“Master, I really can’t believe that you ruled earth two times and that each time that Doctor Who stopped you.” His eyes became small. “Better you don’t speak about that and him.”

I put my hand out for a round shaped thing in yellow. “Wonder what I would do if earth was mine. Cleaning it, I think. Hem. What would you think if I would exchange Tardises and went with that Doctor?” 

Master took a tiny thing in red. “He is always travelling with companions and surely had no need for a Tardiscleaner, Tardiscleaner!”

My mouth turned round. “Travelling with companions? That sounds nice. Are we companions too?” 

He stroked with his hand trough his hair. “Surely NOT. You got paid.”

“Paid? Hadn’t seen a penny in a while” “And what is about your free shopping tours?!”

I looked down. “Okay, I agree, I forgot about them, just so rarely and not much to shop and anyway…” “STOP COMPLANING or I forget my good manners as a bad Timelord”

Well, you see, conservation with Master is sometimes very difficult, so I went on eating. Yummy! 

And so we had a great dinner and my tummy felt yummy and I told it to the head chef and he/she/it was quite delighted.

See, it`s nice to go to other planets, you meet so many kind creatures and learn so much new things.

Some egg-citing adventure! (part 1)

After opening and cleaning another room, including a huge chandelier, home of a thousands spiders, but not now anymore, I walked thirsty as a lost desert wanderer into the kitchen.

Tea was on my mind and may be some cookies. Glomied filled!

To my astonishment the Master was sitting in the kitchen, studying a map. 

He looked up. “You came just at the right moment. You will glad to hear, that we are going to earth!” “Earth!” I forgot the tea. “That is great, I had some things I can only buy there and…” 

He smiled this Cheshire cat like smiling.

“So….?” “Well, look here”, his finger pointed at a spot on the map. 

I saw a big blue ocean and some island, surrounded bye some others, looked very isolated, if you ask me.

“That is Mauritius, an island group, settled in the Indian Ocean. That is where we are going to.” 

“Mauritius, wait, that is where they printed that famous stamps, didn’t they? Do you want one? Never thought you were a collector of stamps.”

Master rose his eyebrows. “A collector of stamps, me?” Oh, I knew that sound in his voice.

I coughed. “Oh forget it.“

„I hope I can“, Master said in a grim voice. “It’s not about stamps but is indeed about collecting something. We will go there to get an egg of a Raphus cucullatus.”

My mouth dropped. “An egg from what?” Master laughed. “That is Latin and means a hood wearing night bird.”

“Oh, just great” I clapped my hands together. “Now I know what you mean.”

“A dodo for you, Tardiscleaner!” “A dodo? Oh, like that in Alice in Wonderland. But they disappeared, they were all eaten up, as far as I know.”

The Master shook his head. “Aren’t we capable to travel in TIME!”

“Oh yes”, I nodded. “Quite right, we can get there before all are eaten up by those bad mariners!” 

“Quite right, Tardiscleaner, you are following my trail.”

“Good, I think I put the kettle on and make us a nice hot cup of tea. You must be thirsty after all these calculating with time and such things. And I am just dying to get one”

Master put the map together. “I need the egg for an collector. There is a whole planet full of a species, who saw theirs only reason in life to collect things. One of them is collecting eggs from all over the universe and I know, he is longing for a egg, that even of that damned planet earth is as far as I know only is to be found in one exemplar. But I need a fresh one. And it is far easier to grab a egg from a nest than stole it from a museum.”

I filled the teapot with hot water. “Poor dodo, so we are going to steal a mother her child.” 

Master sighted. “Sometimes you are a little bit to sentimental, after all, in the end they ceased to exist anyway.” “Well, that’s true. Poor things. And what did you get in return?”

Master growled. “What do I tell you?” I saluted. “Never ask never tell.” “That’s right, now push the cookies.”

A while later Tardis landed. I had my backpack on and looked at a huge thing in Masters Hand. “What is that?” “Curiosity kills the cat, it`s a box for the egg.”

“Clever as ever”, I nodded. “Otherwise you may stumble and make fried egg, sort of.”

He handed me the box. “Take it, I need to use that.” That was a huge knife, a machete.

Master opened the door. All I could see was green, green, green.

The air was hot and sweet, filled with hundreds of strange smells and sounds.

“Goodness it`s like a sweat bath out there” I murmured. “What you expect from a jungle?”, Master closed the door of Tardis.

“Do you expect anyone going in, when we are out?” He gave me a short look, I closed my mouth. 

“Now let’s go and see.” “Wait, are there are, hem, dangerous beasts awaiting us?”

He shook his head. “Don’t fear, that is why the dodo was so easy to be caught by the mariners, they got no enemies.” “Well, aside from the heat, sounds like some kind of paradise.” “Until humans came but that will be a hundred years from now.”

Master began to cut us a way. I could not resist to mumble: “Tarzan, watch out, here we come.”

There were thick green plants like huge green snakes, giant ferns, and sky-high giant trees.

I followed him, trying not to stumble. I saw little lizards running around and flowers , giant flowers. It took us a good while until we reached the shores of a little lake.

It was like a beautiful blue pearl settled in the green jungle. I saw silver fish jumping to catch insects, a little breeze gave fresh air.

“Over there”, Master pointed at something moving.

I looked and saw a huge big bird, could be a metre high. It had a huge beak, a short naked neck, short yellow feet and a round body. It walked towards the water and drank with happiness. 

The bird had blue-grey feathers. Its wings were little and yellow at the end  and a funny tuft of yellow tail feathers stuck at his end like a dustbin.

“A dodo?” I whispered. Master nodded. “Well, there must be more, lets go and see.”

“But it will be afraid?” “I told you, these birds had no enemies, they are without fear.”

We went on the shore, fine, white sand. The bird stopped drinking and looked at us with his huge eyes. 

It opened its beak and made a sound, like a mixture between a hiccup and a whistling. 

It waddled towards us. Short before us, it stopped, laid his head aside and made another sound. “Gickguck?” Gack!” I responded. The bird looked at me and replayed: “Gick?” 

“Gick!” I answered. “Gick!” It said and came so near that I could reached out my hand and touch his feathered head. It felled soft as satin. 

It was a huge head and the beak looked very impressive, as if it could bite a whole coconut in two halves, not to mention a hand. But I felt it was indeed a friendly bird. 

“Wait”, I grabbed into my backpack and grasped my packed lunch. I took a cookie and gave it to it on my flat hand. It looked at the cookie with curious eyes and picked it very careful. Then it waved back its head and crutched it. It closed its eyes a moment then started to cry. A high cry. 

I stepped back. “Help”, I thought. One moment later I heard other cries answering from behind us. 

And then something came bursting trough the scrub. “Goodness”, I heard Masters voice filled with astonishment. I turned to see a great number of dodos rushing out, coming to us, as quick as they could, waddling, waving there little wings. Twenty of them, I think. 

A moment later we were surrounded by those big birds, all starring at me. The one I gave the cookie picked with his beak at my leg. I laughed. Everything was fine! 

“Oh, I understand, my friend. You have just invited your pals to a dinner pasty! I threw cookies around me. The birds caught them like trained foot ballplayers. Good that I had a huge amount of cookies with me. 

“I think we can make a caucus-race with them, like the one Alice had with the dodo and the other animals.” “And what should be the prize?” Master laughed. 

I scratched my head. “Oh heaven, yes, I remember, all win in that race.” 

The dodos waited. I spread my hands. “Sorry nothing left.” 

The dodo we first met looked at me, than it chuckled. The other dodos looked at it and began to return into the wood. “Let’s follow”, me and the dodo followed the Master, who followed the dodos. 

See, we got a kind of caucus- race after all.

There was a kind of a small path, that let into the jungle. Must have been made by the dodos, Master only had to cut some green. Then we reached a place where the green was tiny and had place for many dodos and dodos nests. They were perfect round, filled with feathers and in each nest one of the dodos took place, settling on huge, yellow eggs. 

The dodo that we first met stepped beside me and said: “Giguckga!” I understood. 

“I think, he is the master and that are his ladies!” I smiled and tipped at his beak. “Proud father you are?!” “Thanks for calling it MASTER”, said Master. “Oh  I would not think of you as Master of many mistress, mind me.” “Thanks a lot to that too. Okay, now let’s get an egg.” I shook my head. 

“But they are his babies!“ "Tardiscleaner”, Masters voice was icy. 

But the dodo began to walk around his ladies, while waving his tail proud. 

“Look , he is showing us his girls, isn’t it cute!” “The egg!” “Yes, yes, I know. I am thinking.” 

Then the dodo came back and tipped at my knee again. “Yes?” 

He made a deep sound and walked aside, I followed him. We reached another nest but that one was without any mother sitting on her eggs. 

There were eggs, big and yellow and beside it lay a dodo. Her eyes were closed and I saw that she was dead. The dodo gave her dead body a tip and made another deep sound. 

“Poor thing, I fear he is thinking I can help her.” The dodo looked at me. I felt tears running down my cheeks. I reached out and touched the dead body. It was cold. I shook my head.

“Gock!” I said with a said voice. The dodo looked at the dead body, then at me. Then he ruffled the feathers on his head and went away. 

“There you got your egg”, I said unhappy. 

“Great”, Master stepped forward and put out his hand as something happened.

How Master meet someone and I nearly lost my soul (part4)

“What`s the matter”, I was just trying to say, as the fog disappeared and I saw Master and me standing before us a skyhigh building. 

A giant, grey with so many black windows, I couldn`t believe it.

It got a entry door, very small for such a huge building, I was surprised. 

“What is that supposed to be?” “Like you said, Tardiscleaner, that is hell!” Masters voice was filled with satisfaction.

 “HELL? Oh god, I mean, what? And you wanted us to visit hell?”

 “Sure”, Master smirked. I shook my head. “Why didn`t you told me. It would had save us some nerves, especial me!” “I couldn`t, it would have been against the rules of this place. We had to go and see what you created in your mind and to endure some adventures until the place took us as worthy.” 

“Worthy, blimey!” “Indeed, the right word, now let us enter.”

I opened the door, no smell of brimstone, only a little smell of some cheap floor cleaner. Seemed that the devil had no great taste for good cleaning. Moneyproblems in hell? Anyway..

There were two lifts and a desk. Behind it was a man sitting and reading a newspaper. 

Master went to him. “We like to speak with his highness.” He said very polite. 

The man looked up, I am not able to tell you, what face he had, strange as it sounds, he HAD a face but the moment I looked at him I could not see his face, it was like there and not there.

“Left lift, good Sir. He is expecting you two. Have a good day in hell!”

His voice was so strange, like a million different voices put together. Not a nice one, I can tell you.

So we went to the lift, it opened and showed only one red button. Master pushed it and the lift went down, down? Down! Well, what did I expect from hell, surely down!

“So you want to speak with the devil?” “Hm”, Master was in no mood to speak, I know him, when he is in such a temper, better don`t ask again. After all, he is Master!

The lift stopped, we stepped out and stood instantly before a door. 

A typical office door, grey and not framed with flames or another nice decoration, boring, if you ask me.

“Don`t knock, get in”, was written on a sign. “So we do!” 

Master opened the door and I followed. 

We stepped into a bureau, grey walls, what wonder. Here another man was sitting behind a grey desk.

He looked at us with a kind smile, his teeth were very white.

I don`t know what I had expected to see. 

He was an older gentleman, with grey hair and a grey beard, with grey eyes, wearing a grey suit. 

“Welcome, take a seat, please.” ”Thanks”, Master pushed me to a chair and took the other one. 

The man clasped his hands. “So and what can I do for you? You must know, I am a busy man, so much to do this days.” “I came to you to ask you a favour.” 

The old man nodded. “That is not unexpected, my dear. Most people, who come to visit me got something like that in their mind. So what`s your offer!” 

Master said: “I always heard the devil likes a good game. What about a poker game, just between you and me.” The devil raised his hand and grasped into his beard. I swear I heard something sizzle. 

I felt a cold hand grasping my backbone.

“And what is supposed to be the prize if I win?” “The soul of my Tardiscleaner here!

I was unable to say one word. I was so startled that my mouth was like a piece of unmovabel stone. 

“That is a little problem, my dear Lord Master. Normaly the one who pledges a favour from me offers his own soul!” Master looked at me. “Agree please. I win, I swear it and you will get the finest, most beautiful broom in the whole universe!”

I found my mouth back. “You swear?” Master smiled. “Certainly, by my two hearts!” 

“Agreed”, I said. I never could resist such an offer! And after all Master had a lucky hand with cards, so I was told by him some times ago. And if someone was supposed to have a poker face, then him. 

“The cards then, Tardiscleaner!” “Oh, yes, the cards, poker cards please.” A deck of cards was on the table, wrapped in a shinning foil. 

“Five card drew!” The Master said, the devil nodded. “Fine with me.” 

“Open the cards, mix them, and give five to each of us, the other cards lay aside!” 

Masters orders, I did what he wanted, trying to not spill them over ther table. 

“Now give each of us five cards and put the other in the middle of the desk, right between him and me!” Master ordered and I obeyed. 

“Then let`s start.” 

They took the cards and looked at them and I looked at THEM but the devil had his polite smile and the Master his emotionless face, that he is wearing when having big thoughts. 

Great. What`s now? 

“I take one!” Master put one card beside the tower of cards and picked one and placed her to the four he had. The devil looked at him, his smile changed. “I took two!” 

Great, that sounds great, he needed two, had to be a good sign! And now? I never played poker, I only saw it in western movies, when the game always ended in some violent shootings. 

“Show!” Master laid his cards on the table. “Straight flush,”, I heard a smile in his face. It was a set of hearts. “Oh”, the devils eyebrows raised and my hope to get that shinning new brooms raised too! 

But then the devil layed down his cards with a filthy giggling. “Sorry Timelord, mine is a royal one!” 

I saw aces black as the night. Master said nothing. He did not need to. 

Great, he lost. I never thought he would, but he did. 

“You know what they used to say on eaerth, the devils luck! Well, so it will be. Tardiscleaner, your soul is mine now.” I heard Masters voice somber wispering: “I am sorry.” 

“Me too, “ I said. “Seems to be boring to live in hell but Mister devil, I like to play with you too?” 

“YOU?” The devils eyes widened, then he begun to laugh. I don`t want to descripe you the sound of his laughter, well, it was…devilish, believe me. 

“And may I ask, what you can give me? I had your soul!” “Yes, I know that certainly but what`s about my body. As far as I know, they are different things after all, so we can play about my body. I can be very useful with a body. I can clean your hell, after all I am a good, a very good cleaner, either Master wouldn`t have taken me with him!” I took a firm stand on this. 

“Cleaning up my hell”, the devil raised his hand and touched his beard, again I heard this strange sizzling. “Why not, sounds like a good idea. I agree and what kind of play do you suggest?” 

“Nine Men's Morris!” Master gave me a strange look of disbelief. Devil too. 

The cards disappeared in a puff of smoke, a little smell of brimstone remained. And my favourite play was on the table.   

“You see”, I said. “If you like such a childish game”, the devil sighed. “I do, so it’s a bargain, I win, I got my soul back, I loose, you got my body too. So let’s get started. You may begin!” 

“You let him start?” Masters voice was sad. I smiled. 

“So let’s begin, I take the black ones.” As I didn’t expected that. So we started. 

I let him have his first mill, I always used them have them theirs first. 

I placed some stones here and there and then, I got my double mill, as expected. And not long the second one.  

“Won, Mister devil!” He gave my some infernal look, I tell you. 

And in the next moment the room began to twist around as, as if we were in the centre of a whirlwind, the walls disappeared and we found us standing before the doors of the Tardis.

Master opened the door. He gave me a side glance. “Hope you are not too mad at me?”

“Mad at you? Why? Come let us go in, I put the kettle on. A nice cup of tea will be good now!”

I put a bowl with cookies between us and helped me to one of my favourites. 

He stirred a long time with the spoon in his cup.

I thought of rising his spirit. “I know, loosing is a nasty thing, but there are not many, who can beat the devil.” He looked up. “After all, you did it!” 

I laughed. “Because I am just a little idiot, Master. God loves the fools, don’t you know that. But one thing!” “Yes?” Something in his eyes touched me, I don’t know why and what.

“You owe me something!”

And at least here I am, having the most splendid broom in the whole universe!

How Master meet someone and I nearly lost my soul (part3))

Moments later we found us back on our own feet again, the horses had disappeared as quick as the came. “Same fog, hm. I wonder, can`t see anything. Wish I could clean it up like the dust of a mirror!”

The fog turned into a curtain, with two sides, turned aside by big red drawstrings.

We looked into an old fashioned furnitured room. A huge chair stood before a fireplace, above it hung a great mirror blind with dust. 

“Victorian earth”, Master said. “I think I knew it”, I pointed at the mirror. 

“I tell you, it`s from an illustration from “Through the looking glass, the second book about the adventures of Alice.” I reached into my backpack and put out a rag and cleaning-spray. 

“And that mirror needs intensive cleaning. Looks like centuries of dust.” 

I reached out with my hand and touched the mirror but there was no glass, something was pulling me inside. “Master quick”, I felt his hand in mine and together we went through the looking glass, like Alice.

A very strange sight awaited us.

This time the day was gone and night filled the sky, big clouds covered the stars, only the moon was shining in a very pale manner. We saw the black silhouette of a huge castle. 

Montains surrounded us, overgrown with trees. 

“Oh, something I said?” “I think so.” 

Then we heard something,.Something frightning, even moore frightning then the whole place, the sound of howling animals. And it seems not to be very far from us. 

“Wolves”, Master stated. “And near by”, I murmured. “Then the only way is to the castle, away from the woods.” “Great, I got a bad feeling about it.” “As I told you, quick.”

We run, again. The howling grows louder, we run quicker and reached the castle. 

Then we stood before a huge door, very, very old and wooden, no bell to see. 

Master began to hammer at it.“Hello, open up. Guest has arrived.” “Hope they love to have guest.” 

Only a moment later the door opened without the slightest sound and a voice said: “Come in on your own will!”

The howling was near enough to raise my hair. “Glad to know that, we are coming, we are coming.”

 I stepped forward, trough the door, Master next to me.

Before as, in a large yard, stood a huge man, a black cloak was wrapped around him, his face was not to be seen, to dark. 

“Good evening”, I said with a friendly voice. “Nice to let us in, there are some unfriendly beasts outside."

The man laughed. “The children of the night.” He turned around. “Please follow me and be my guests.”

Master grapped me at the shoulder und whispered into my ear. “I am sure, you know, who HE is!” 

I hesitated. “The Lord of the castle?” “It`s the count, Tardiscleaner.” “Count?”

I saw the man walking, something in his movement was strange. Then my mind told me what count the Master meant and I gulped. 

May be the wolves would ne a nicer choice but now the door was closed, we are inside Draculas castle and I was not willing to loose my cold blood!

Following the count we came into a great hall, a huge table with chairs around him stood in the middle, a open fireplace with a big fire inside filled the room with some heat. 

Torches and silver candleholders gave light. Our host turned around.

In the shimmer of the light I saw his face clear now. A long white face with impressive eyes, very impressive, I must say. His hair was black as the night but his lips very red. 

He smiled and I saw his theeth, especially the ones, who were very sharp. 

“We are honoured to be your guest”, Master said. “As I said”, the count replied, “you are welcome. Take a seat and have a glas of red wine. It`s the best wine you can get.” 

So we took seat and he gave us wine in beautiful carved cristall glasses, they were glittering in the lights around us but no stronger then the eyes of the count.

Master took a sip. “Inded, that is a very fine one.” “I told you”, the count nooded. He certainly wasn`t drinking. 

I wondered if it would help if I call out for Van Helsing but the problem would be, that it was night and the count could only be killed when he slept. I was sure that here the night was bound to stay, as we, if Master doesn`t get any brilliant idea. He seems to enjoy himself, great. 

I tasted the wine, it was okay to me.

“I don`t have guest here often, I must say. The roads are dangerous to travel and the places around are filled with very superstitious people.” 

“Ah, the typical common herd!” Master smiled. “They are always filled with fear about things they don`t understand.” “Indeed, you understand it perfectly.” The count nooded. His eyes went to me. 

“And what are you thinking?” “Me?” I drank another sip. 

“Don`t mind him, he is just a servant”, Master said in a harsh voice. “Not much brain to think!” 

“Hm, he looks clever to me.” I bursted out: “I am clever, I am a cleaner, you know and I am proud to be. If you need a little cleaning around here?” The counts face showed astonishment. “Cleaning?”

“As I told you”, Master sighted.

I yawned. “Please don`t mind me, but I am very tired. Can you show me a sleeping room?” 

Master gave me a look and a short smile run over his face. “He is right, we had a long yourney.” 

The count arose. “That is no problem, there is room enough. If you follow me, I will get to to your rooms.” He took a candlelighter from the table and moved to a staircase, which wounded up at the end of the hall. 

I grasped in my backpack and found what I think would be helpful, after all I hoped very dearly that it will do it`s job. I broke it up in two halves and gave one piece to the Master. 

“Rub your neck with it”, I whispered.

After the count left me in my room I fall down on the huge bed. It smelled after dust. 

Cleaning needed, as I thought! I used the thing from the backpack as thick as I could.Then the sleep overcame me like a cloak. I couldn`t resist it.

I awoke from a cry. 

I opened my eyes, to see the count bending over me, his mouth filled with foam. 

His face was not a nice thing to see. He cried again in anger and rubbed his lips but the cleaning soap was to much for him. After all this soap was made to clean the heaviest of dirt and it smelled awful not to mention the taste. As he bite me, he must have got a huge piece from it. 

I aways believe in using more cleaner is best!

The count howled like a beast, better even than the wolves. 

He twisted around, his cloak waving like the wings of a bat, then he turned himself into one and flew away.

I jumped up and run to the door, opened it and cried as loud as I could after Master. 

The next moment the world turned foggy again.

“Master? “I am beside you!” His voice was calm and my heart stopped running like a crazy horse. 

The fog around as was so thick, I couldn`t even see him. 

“What now?” I asked and hear a little trembling in my voice. 

“Thank you for the soap”, I heard that he was smiling. 

“Even if it stinks like…” “Like?” I waited and thought to end it…

”Like hell?” “YES”, he cried excited.

How Master meet someone and I nearly lost my soul (part2)

We stood before a nice sight, like a summer day on earth, meadows with cows, little cottages in the distance and a huge inn behind a bridge over a small river. The air was full of the scent of flowers, in the grass grasshoppers were chirping.

“What was in your mind…when you said that about epees?” Masters voice was harsh.

“Oh,” I scratched my head. “Now, that you ask, I thought about the three musketeers, from the book from Dumas, d`Artagnan and the three other, you know?” “Damned, you and your adventure book reading!”

“Oh, come on”, I looked at the inn. “It’s such a nice place, so peaceful.”

In that moment came from the inn the bursting laughter of some men.

“See”, I laughed. “Nothing to fear, seems there are people in very good mood, let’s go and get us something to drink. I want to have a imagination beer and after all, may be, the one you are looking for is there to be find or someone could us give a hint!”

Master grumbled. “Even it is looking peaceful, I told you this place is dangerous. And I don’t think that I will find the one I seek there.”

“After all, you never know”, I walked across the bridge. In the water fishes were jumping to catch flies. What a nice place, certainly it could not mean any harm.

I looked at the sign of the inn, it showed a fat man with a red face, who sat on a very huge barrel, holding up a jug of beer and having a great day!

I opened the wooden door and entered the room. Another outburst of laughter awaited me.

Smell of roasting pork, chicken and red wine came straight to me.

I stood in a narrow room, there was a huge fireplace, were a young boy was turning a piglet and several chicken over a fire.

Behind a huge wooden bar stood a fat man, with a very red face. That had to be the landlord and as it seems he was his best guest.

He was just filling a huge jug but stopped seeing me. And another thing had stopped, the laughter.

I looked around, to see four men sitting around a table.

And what men, they got hats with proud feasters, long curling hair was falling on shinning, opulent clothes in bursting colours. I recognized them at once.

The famous three musketeers and the young man had to be  d`Artagnan. Gosh, what a dashing young fellow with his beard and all.

I reached at my head to tip of my had, and there it was, a nice had to lift. I bowed at them. 

They gave me a long look. I turned round and went to the landlord.

I thought about what to order. Certainly NOT diet coke like Sam Tyler does way back in 1973, no.

I looked straight into the fat mans eyes, smiled and said: “Hello, nice day, isnt it? I have a glas fine red whine, please!” After all in those days the whine had to be greast, no ingredients from the industry. 

He nooded and filled a huge thick glas and gave it to me.

I took it and turned around, only to see the Master standing in the door, his face a mask.

Oh, oh, I didn`t followed his command and I knew how he hated that but after all, you have to take the opportunity to get some fun, if you can get it!

“Come and join me”, I said and rised the glass of whine, realising that I had no money in my pocket. 

But after all, he always had one, he would not let me down and after all I am a very quick runner! 

And I think Master too!

Master went straight to me. “I told you, not to go inside”, he hissed.

“But why?” I took a sip of the whine, it tasted very good. "When had someone the opportunity to meet the famous musketeers . Look at them, sitting in all their glory at the table.”

“Yeah, yeah”, Master gave a deep sigh. “What do you expect in this land, you will meet stranger things.” “Oh, for me it`s enough to see some of my childhood heroes. The famous four fighters, one for all and all for one, a fine brotherhood!”

Master looked over his shoulder. “And this brotherhood is looking at us with something in the eyes I don`t like, Tardiscleaner!”

“What do you mean? I, I mean we are here standing, me having a wonderful whine, just enjoying the day, what might be wrong with that? “

“Gentlemen, how is the cardinal doing?”

A cold shiver ran down my spine. I know it was the voice of Porthos, the deep voice of a huge man. 

And I knew if he was asking us about some cardinal, he only could meant Richelieu, their archenemy.

I was about to turned around, but felt Masters hand on my arm. “Keep calm. We are in trouble but let`s pretend we don`t knew anything.”

I smiled and turned around. “What you are asking me, my good man? I don`t no cardinal, I am just a traveller.”

The four men stand up slowly. I saw the shinning weapons at their side. They are the worlds best fighters, great.

Aramis waved back his hair. He smiled ironical. “Don`t tell us you drop here just by incident. We know men of the cardinal, if we saw them!”

“Run to the door”, Master whispered, I obeyed, a discussion was not a bright idea.

We reached the door, went trough. Master got out the screwdriver and gave it a shot.

“May be sealed for some moments”. “Porthos is strong as a bear”, I mumbled.

“And he is not alone. Shall we run?” “We run!”

We run to the bridge, only moments later I heard the door cracking.

As we crossed the bridge, I stopped, grapped into my backpack and put out a bottle of washing up-liquid and spread it wide to the ground, giving the stone of the bridge a nice green shimmer.

“What?” Master looked at me. “That will give us some time.”

Meanwhile the four men were coming after as like bats out of hell.

We ran and then I heard screaming of rage. I couldn`t resist to look back.

The four were on the bridge, trying to get back on their feet, the liquid had done it`s duty.

Too bad, I thought, after all they are such nice fellows.

“Will you be standing here and waiting until they use us as dummies?” Masters voice got me back instantly. “Oh, no, I am coming.”

“Damned, if we only had horses.” A quick thought crossed my mind.

“If wishes were horses then beggars would ride!” I yelled it into the warm air.

And what do you say, they were two horses appearing out of the blur. Ready with saddles. 

Master laughed and mounted up.

“Great, come one, that will do!” I shook my head. “Sorry, I just realised I can`t ride.”

“Oh idiot, you are in fantasy land, you can do here, what you wish. Get up!”

I looked at the horse, behind us I heard the sound of four very angry men.

“Okayyyy”, before I knew I was up and on and riding beside my Master. Great, I always wished to ride.

The horses took as through the landscape.

“Why can`t you imagine things too?” I cried to Master. “Because I am a Timelord and my mind is immune to the powers.” “Oh, that was the reason you took me with you”, I murmured. And I thought about who HE wanted to meet here and how he would arrange it, to let us find him. But after all, he was Master and always knew what he is doing.

Then before us the fog rises again and we rode inside.

How Master meet someone and I nearly lost my soul (part1)

It was one of these days, you know, always cleaning the endless rooms of the Tardis.

I just came back to get me a nice hot cup of tea with milk and sugar and some cookies from the huge biscuit tin. Only to find Master in kitchen sitting at the table, staring into a very fare distance.

I thought: “Keep calm and put the kettle on” and said: “Care for a cup of tea too?”

His eyes turned back from the far, far away and rested on me, like I was something, that came from under a stone and was not very nice to look at. I sighted.

“It’s the broomstick, you know! Its too old and shabby now. Need a new one, a funny one!”

“A FUNNY ONE?!” His voice was so icy, I swear the tea in my cup caught a cold.

I took a deep seep.

“Yes, I think something charming, a pink one would be nice. Tea?”

His mouth opened, then he closed it and nodded. I gave him a cup of tea in his favourite bone china cup.

I opened the tin and put some biscuits on a plate, some with chocolate, icing, some with strawberry filling and glumieds, my favourites. You get them in huge packets of planet of Odd.

I put them between us and took seat.

“Did you ever wonder why the Tardis is so huge?” Master asked with his special smile.

The one I like and NOT the one you see and want to run and hide in the cupboard.

I shook my head. “I am a cleaner, you know, never ask, never tell, like you said.”

”Fine bye me”, he laughed silent and took a slip of tea and took a cookie, one with choc.

He hold it between his fingers and let it twist.

“Good thing you don’t get the choc on your fingers doing that”, I said and get me a gloomy one.

“It went back to a time Time Lords love to forget, Tardiscleaner. It was in what we used to call the old days, the time before the great Timelord Rasillon took control. Great, indeed”, he grinned and took the cake into his mouth.

”Oh, that guy, Rasillon, you mentioned him sometimes. I thought he was a pain in the ass, did try to kill you, the Doctor Who and the rest of the universe?”

”Indeed, that was his purpose but way back, in the old days before he was the great ruler the Time lords used to catch beings from all over the universe, store them as captives in the Tardis and then”, he tipped at his cup and I filled it again, burning with interest to hear more. It was not often Master was in such a mood of talking about things.

“Then they put them in a place on my home planet, our homeplanet Gallifrey, in a place named the danger zone. There they has to fight for their live against enemies from their own race or other beings, the choose was very wide ranging. Like the game they used on the planet Earth in the times of the roman empire.”

I put down my cookie. “They did? Never thought that. That’s evil!”

Master smiled. “Indeed, evil. But then Rasillon took command of the high counsel and forbid the games. After his death his tomb was placed in the middle of the now forbidden ground.” “Tomb, but I thought..” He raised his hand. “Yes, they were always rumours that he was still living, inside his tomb, inside the so called tower of Rasillon.

I once was there, with the Doctor, no”, he hesitated for a moment, “with nearly ALL of the doctors. Someone had collected them like toys, to resolve the riddle inside the tower, the idle of Rasillon. So we learned that he was still alive, more ghost then Time Lord but not dead and that his power was still very great. In the end the collector got what he wanted, immortality. He ended as a figure at Rasillons tomb.

I must admit, I nearly fell for the riddle and if the Doctors hadn’t stopped me, it would have me whose face would decorate the tomb. And therefore a Tardis is so large.”

“I would either think she is so huge to collect nice things, like I do in my room.”

He turned his eyes around. “Oh I know. Each time we set foot on a planet you always found something you want to take with you. Think about all that Christmas stuff from earth.”

I shrank. “Yes but you must admit the Christmas tree WAS nice to look at, all those shining balls and ornaments, even a little Christmas dalek!”

Master made a face. My smile froze and I stood up. “Okay, time to start cleaning!” 

"I just was thinking about our next stop", Master said in a strange voice.

“Yes?” “It will be a place the Doctor told me about, that he discovered by accident, a place between the threads of space and time. A place strange things are waiting. You can call it a place like the danger zone I told you about” Master eyes begun to shimmer.

I placed my hand around the broomstick. “Oh that sounds enterprising!”

“The only problem is, it is not easy to find but I think I just try. Meet me soon in the control room!” “I will!”

I went to my room and scratched my head. Danger means that it would be a good idea to bring some things with me.

I put several things in my backpack and went to meet Master.

Suddenly the Tardis seems to turn upside down. I swear I had the absolute strange feeling as if my feet were where my head had to be and that everything around me went twirling.

“Seems we are on our way”, I thought.

Then everything was normal again and I run to the control desk, Master was already standing at the door.

“Let’s take a look”. He opened the door, I behind him, only to stare at a wall of fog.

“Great, looks like we have landed in a boring foggy land”, I muttered.

“Silence”, Master hissed. “Did you don’t felt the Tardis behaving strange! I am sure, I have found the right place.”

“Okayyyy…” I took a deep breath and stepped into the fog.

Only one moment later I remembered the problem about fog, you can’t see and you can not hear very clear.

Now I was out of Tardis, right into a very strange land and where was Master?

I stood still and tried to see something? Nothing, only a white wall. I called: “Master?” Nothing! Oh great, I was lost.

But I am not a good cleaner for nothing. I reached into my backpack and took out a special thing to get rid of spider webs. Which is very short until you draw it out.

I did and turned around until I felt a resistance, that had to be Tardis.

I pushed it until I saw the black stone of Tardis and in the door Master standing at her door, arms crossed.

“Tardiscleaner, didn’t I tell you not to run off on your own?” “Yes”, I put the spider web cleaner back to small size. “Sometimes I am a little bit overhasty!”

Master smiled. “Then let us now go together.”

We started wandering through the fog, side by side.

“I wonder, what do we expect here?” Master sighted. “Strange things, as I told you. We are now in a place where the beings exist, which came from the mind of writers, the realm of imagination, you can say!”

“Really? Oh, I wonder what we will meet here?” “Not we but I want someone to meet here and try if I can get from him something.” Master flicked it’s fingers. “Don’t know if it would work but it’s worth the danger.” “I hope you had your screwdriver with you?”

“Did you take my for an idiot, I always got it by my side!” I laughed. “Like an musketeer epee!”

“Don’t say…”Master stood still. I looked at him and suddenly the fog opened before us like a curtain.

The red button adventure

You had plenty of time to think when cleaning. Mostly that is no problem, but one time it turned out to become one.

It was when Master told me he would be off for some time. We were on earth and he left for reasons he certainly did not tell me.

So alone I cleaned and thought and one though grew BIG in my mind.

When he introduced me to my work, he showed me the control desk, which had to be absolutely clean and shining.

All those buttons and controls and Godknowswhat….always very difficult to clean, I can tell.

“And do not MOVE anything, you understand? No pushing, no twisting, only clean it And one more!” His eyes get a dangerous sparkling and his voice became very harsh.

“See that huge, RED button!” I looked and nodded. “Sure!” “Good, that button is not to be touched or cleaned. Let it be. Understood?” “Yes, Master, I will never ever touch THAT red button thing!”

And there I was now, cleaning, wiping, thinking, thinking about THAT damned red button.

Master away and I alone with this button.

One day, two days, three days went on, I sad there eating my ham and cheese sandwich and my mind was stuck to the red button like a limpet.

A glow seems to be around the red button and a voice was whispering in my head.

What great difference it could make if I give the button just a little push, like the push of a butterfly wing.

I mean, the voice told me, what could happen?! Nothing, certainly and Master never, ever will know and my mind will be calm again.

We all know what comes from such thinking.

My hand reached out and gave the red button a slight touch….I hold my breath…nothing happened. I smiled and felt lucky and satisfied, well until I heard the sound.

It came from deep within the Tardis, a grumble, a roar, nothing one wanted to hear in the distance and even worse it came nearer.

I gulped and looked around me. Sure I could leave the Tardis but then I would not be able to enter it again and then Master returning would find out, what I have done.

Okay, he would possibly anyway but I decided that it was better to face THAT grumble then the Master.

I took my broom and prepared myself.

It came into the control room and stared at me. After all I believe it did so, I was not able to say if that were eyes or something other. Anyway, one thing was clear as water without galaxy cleaner, IT WAS MAD AT ME!

So I decided what every intelligent being would have decided to do, or as the famous Ludwig von Drake once said: “My escape plan consists on the stimulating impact from psychical depression to the musculature of the whole organism. Popular said, fear imparts wings!”

I RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN………….

Good thing as a cleaner you knows your rooms (at least the first 100)…so I know how to make a round. And even better I had always some nice gaveyougreatpower snacks from planet Varos with me, I opened it, running and at THAT moment I heard the thing giving a strange sound.

It reminded me to the sound, the dogs made, (I once was doghousecleaner!) when I get them something nice and bony to come out and let me do the cleaning.

At that moment an idea came into my mind and I decided to find the room, from where It might had come. I got a plan of the rooms around the control room in my mind and I know that there was this one room Master told me NEVEREVER to open.

Good little Tardiscleaner that I am I thought about Bluebeards room and neverever opened it. But that damned thing must have opened it, if I were lucky, to say the least.

Either THAT or soon the grumbling would turn into the sound of crunching bones and flesh, MINE!

With the power of the snack and the wings of fear I reached the room, I searched, looked like a dungeon, with needed deeply cleaning but this was not the right time for such business.

I ripped another snack wide open, showed it to the thing and threw it into the room.

I was lucky.

Thing went after nice snack, thought most certainly that it could have the fleshy one after that.

Wrong thought!

I closed the door. I leant against the wall, trying to catch my breath and may heart.

Inside it was finished and angry. It beat against the door, but was not able to open it.

Lucky me.

That thought went AWOL (absentwithoutleave) after I gave the rooms a look, across it had passed.

Great Scott, what a mess….sigh, I shrugged my shoulders and began to clean, hoping that Master would not return before I had cleaned up the huddle.

Some days later I heard the door of the Tardis opening and Master stepped inside.

He seemed to be in good mood, what can mean everything, I can tell you.

“And?” He gazed at me. I smiled. “Everything is fine and clean.”

“Hm”, he went to the controls and started the Tardis.

“Let`s go up and away. Had some business to made, things to deal with.”

“Fine with me!” (As if he would bother.)

See….that happens if Tardiscleaner not obey to Master!

Lesson learned! (until next time…giggle)